How to have a Healthy Relationship
Everyone wants their relationship to be healthy and successful, freeing and fun. Healthy relationships don’t happen overnight, they take work.
Whether it be with a family member, spouse, or your best friend, you need to put in the effort when it comes to creating a healthy relationship. This is something that Ashton and I worked really hard on before we got engaged, and something we still work on every day. My relationship with my husband Ashton is the best thing I could ever ask for. I trust him completely, and know that no matter what, he is always there for me. As my best friend, and the love of my life.
All the advice below is based on things we do ourselves, and how we keep our relationship healthy and happy!
Each Friday, Ashton and I have our “Check-in” day after work. This is our reflection of the week, things that have happened, and how we are both feeling. It gives us a chance to communicate any concerns that either of us may have, and discuss them openly with each other.
Whether or not you think that is something you would like to do with your spouse (and I think you should), you need to be diligent communicators.
Fights are often caused by not communicating expectations, pent up feelings, and unspoken concerns.
If there is one thing you start working on today, find a way to be open and honest with your partner.
Think of the other persons needs
By being in a relationship, you are saying that you are capable of taking care of another person. This is not to say that it is one sided, they should be taking care of you as well. Thinking about the other persons needs before your own is absolutely necessary, and a statement of real love.
We cannot be completely selfish and self serving, or we create a toxic relationship.
If you are in a relationship, it should not be hard to think of what the other person needs, and how you can be a help to them. This comes from trusting that they are taking care of you, and thinking of your needs as well. It makes you want to serve one another, and take care of each other.
Having a healthy relationship means caring for the other person, before yourself.
Don’t keep secrets from each other
Secrets don’t make for a healthy relationship. No matter what kind of relationship it is! Your relationship with you mom, you best gal pal, your spouse, etc. No one likes being lied to, and honesty is always the best policy.
Don’t keep secrets from your loved one, and do your best to create a relationship filled with trust and honesty.
Do things together
Doing activities together is something that every couple should practice.
My husband and I have gone rock climbing, done Karate and Tai Chi, done P90X3 together, and many more activities to keep us close. You may notice all of the things I listed were exercise related, but the activity you choose doesn’t have to be! It could be playing video games together, shopping, cooking together, weekly trips to the park, or anything you can think of. Just be sure to make time for each other.
Dont keep things to yourself. If something is bothering you, tell them. It doesnt even necessarily have to be something they are doing, but anything that is concerning you or bothering you. If it keeps you up at night, you should be able to bounce ideas off of your best friend (and that should be your partner).
Let them know what is on your mind, I promise it will make the two of you feel so much closer.
Talk about family
Your family has a lot to do with how you grew up, and how your personality was formed. They helped form your habits, your beliefs, and the way you live. Telling stories about your siblings, parents or close family friends will let your partner feel like they get to know the you before they knew you.
It will also help them feel closer to your family, or just understand you better.
There are times when Ashton and I haven’t seen eye to eye because of a difference in how we were raised. We have always been able to find common ground by talking about what the root cause of what’s bothering us is. Usually, this stems from a place of “When I was growing up, we did it this way.” and by talking it through, we can come to a mutual understanding of the others needs, and the way we want to do things as a family.
Talking about family and habits growing up can help you to create a steady pace in your own home.
Be your spouses best friend.
Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend!
Feeling completely comfortable with the other person, being silly, going on adventures together… all the things you grew up doing with your best friends, you should treat your spouse like they get to fill that role too. Being married to your best friend, REALLY is the best thing you could ask for in life.
Give them the same reigns you would your best friend, and just BE. You shouldn’t have to worry about acting a certain way, or looking a certain way, (though getting all dressed up and fancy for one another is always fun and adds a little romance) you should just be yourselves. This is the best thing in a relationship. Freedom to be yourself.